Intervention is Only a Start

I was having coffee with a friend of mine from Southern California this afternoon and we got to talking about intervention, treatment and recovery. We both are in the field of addiction recovery; he has been in this business for over 30 years. We both agreed that intervention and treatment are mere beginnings, a bridge if you will, to recovery. Recovery is long-term . . . a lifelong process if we are lucky. Intervention and treatment are short-term, the start of this lifelong journey. Comparatively, they are simple and easy when you stack them up against long-term recovery. Staying sober in a facility is not hard. The real challenge begins when addicts and alcoholics leave treatment.

Sadly, most don't make it . . . at least not the first time. They relapse, usually within the first year. Those who are most likely to do so are easy to spot. They are the ones who don't follow their discharge plans, don't follow them fully, completely and with vigor. They are the ones who want to rush back to a "normal" life, however they define that. It's madness. They have sunk to a place of such desperation and illness that they need to be in treatment for at least 30 days and then they want to fly on their own, unaided professionally, making their own decisions, picking and choosing what discharge recommendations they will follow expecting that they have the ability to do this successfully. What?? Typically, they will not go to the meetings recommended for the length of time recommended. They won't go to extended care or an SLE or if they do they won't go for the length of time recommended. They will want to get back to work or get a job if they weren't working before treatment and they will want to work long hours to make up for lost time and fill their damaged bank accounts. Then they are too busy to go to meetings. They won't engage in monitoring if that has been recommended. They begin to see recovery as a "waste of time" because they are now so busy. They might engage in some of the discharge recommendations, but not all of them. They pick and choose which ones they will do like it is a smorgasbord.

This almost always spells relapse. It is as predictable as April showers. Families are often complicit in their addict's unwillingness to do everything recommended instead urging them to get "back to a normal life", to engage in the things that normal healthy people do because that is what their loved ones so desperately want to see (normal, healthy behavior), thus bolstering their hope that their loved one is really "okay."

When the relapse comes, as it inevitably does under these circumstances, they are all dismayed and surprised. "Treatment didn't work", they claim. "Twelve step programs don't work, either", they go on. Not so. These things do work and there is living proof around us every day that they do. As my friend quite correctly pointed out, "It's not the 12 steps do the work, it is we who need to work the steps."

A final comment: it is naive and unrealistic to think that this very ill person can go from the cocoon of treatment where they are getting 24/7 care and regimentation back to an environment with no professional support, guidance or structure and expect to make it. Those who fare best will be those who continue with professional help, guidance and structure of some sort.

There is Help~There is Hope

Early Recovery from Addiction: Why Do We Expect it Not to Feel Bad?

Why do addicts, alcoholics and their families have this delusional idea that the early stages of recovery should be anything different than the early stages of recovery from most other diseases? Perhaps it is because they have had to suffer so much to get them into recovery in the first place. Okay . . . that said, should this mean that since they've suffered so dreadfully in order to reach recovery's doorstep that the trauma of early stage recovery simply doesn't happen for them as it does with other diseases? Well, no not exactly, but early recovery from other diseases isn't as bad they think. Well, let's see.

Take a woman diagnosed with breast cancer. One day she is looking great, feeling fine, working hard, raising her three children, being a good wife to a good husband. Life couldn't be better. Oh, and she has all her hair. That day, she gets the results of her mammogram. "We've discovered something; you need to schedule a biopsy." Fast forward . . . "It's malignant; we recommend a mastectomy." Six weeks later, this healthy good looking woman who was working hard, raising her family has now undergone major surgery and is slated for chemotherapy and radiation treatments. She feels bad and she now has scars on her once scar-free body. Twelve weeks later she has no hair. Before the year is out she will have more side-effects from the chemo and radiation treatments she has undergone. This is a year from hell. But, she knew it would be and so did her family. They didn't expect it to be easy or fun. In fact, they expected quite the contrary and they prepared for it. And, during that first year after her diagnosis, they ALL did what they needed to do to treat this disease. This woman may have continued working during her chemo and radiation treatments. Many do. She continued to take care of her family, her home, her children. Her husband pitched in and so did the kids. They learned about her disease and the effects it was going to have on her and on all of them. They all made adjustments. During this year, the woman continued to live her life and take care of her disease and treatment for it. Even with all her family and work obligations, she kept her chemo and radiation treatment appointments, she found time for the surgery and the recovery, she made her doctors appointments, she rested when she was tired. And, she still managed to work, tend her family and have a life.

Many, if not most, addicts, alcoholics and their families do not have such realistic expectations of their early recovery from addiction. How many times have you heard an addict say that they don't have time to go to meetings, work with a sponsor, etc.... because they have to work? You don't hear cancer patients saying they don't have time for their chemo treatments or doctor appointments. How many times have you heard addicts, alcoholics or their families say after 3 months of recovery, "I feel worse now than before, this is too hard, forget it"? You don't hear that coming from cancer patients. They keep doing what they need to do for their recovery, whatever it takes.

The next time you hear the moanings of early recovering addicts or their families, think of the cancer patient. Getting professional consult regarding early recovery is an option to consider, not just for the addict/alcoholic but for the family as well. It will ease the struggle, enhance the recovery process and put into perspective some very unrealistic expectations.

Addiction Treatment Interview with CeDAR's Diane Sanders

Alice Tanner of Addiction Recovery Consulting Services interviews Diane Sanders of University of Colorado's CeDAR treatment program. This program offers in-patient treatment for chemical dependency, a first-rate family program and an extended care program. If you or a loved one suffer with chemical dependency help is a phone call away.